Faculty Candidate Must Decide To Reveal She Doesn’t Drink Or Let Department Reveal It Discriminates Against Pregnant Women
DURHAM, NC—Staring at the wine list being passed around the table at the upscale Italian restaurant where the search committee had taken her for dinner, biochemistry faculty candidate Dr. Rachel Okonkwo was faced Monday with a consequential choice: explain that she simply doesn’t drink alcohol, or remain silent and allow the department to reveal whether it would discriminate against her for being pregnant.
“It’s actually a tremendous opportunity when you think about it,” said Okonkwo, who has been sober for eight years for personal reasons completely unrelated to pregnancy, a medical condition, or a religious obligation she should have to explain to strangers who control her professional future. “I can either tell them my private medical history during what is supposed to be a casual dinner, or I can just order a club soda and learn everything I need to know about this department in about fifteen seconds.”
According to sources, Okonkwo spent much of the appetizer course weighing whether the tenure-track position was worth performing a small theatrical production about how she’s “just not in the mood tonight” and “had a big lunch” versus simply ordering what she wanted and conducting an informal audit of the institution’s Title IX compliance.
“The sparkling water is basically a free background check,” said Okonkwo, watching the search committee chair’s eyes flick toward her glass. “Most consultants would charge thousands of dollars for the kind of comprehensive cultural assessment I’m about to get for the price of a Pellegrino.”
Sources confirmed that Okonkwo had previously attempted to avoid the situation entirely by saying she was “fine with whatever” when asked about dinner preferences, only to find herself at a restaurant whose entire identity was wine.
“I briefly considered just holding a glass of red and not drinking it,” admitted Okonkwo. “But then I realized: why should I perform for people who are maybe going to be my colleagues for the next thirty years? If they’re going to make assumptions about my uterus based on my beverage choice, I’d honestly rather find that out now than during my third-year review.”
Department chair Dr. William Hendricks denied that the search committee would take a candidate’s drink order into consideration during deliberations.
“We would never factor something like that into our assessment,” said Hendricks, who had already factored it into his assessment. “We’re just trying to see if candidates are a good cultural fit, if they can relax and be collegial. Whether they seem like someone we could get a drink with.”
Hendricks paused.
“Not that that’s related to actually getting a drink,” he added.
At press time, Okonkwo was seen enjoying her water immensely while the committee member to her left attempted to calculate her last possible date of conception based on the academic hiring timeline.